2014 March – misssarahluv

Getting ready to travel on short notice always adds stress to ones life, couple it with an early spring bloom and it makes for some busy days.

The week started off with a last minute schedule change and I was left with four days notice to get ready for a New York television shoot.

I would be supplying my own stylist and wardrobe aka me. There is nothing I like better than shopping so a full on spree was in order. the instructions were simple bring three outfits colour is recommended. Damn only three outfits! My live just got tougher. I hate limited clothing choices.

Off I went, with a few thoughts rateling around in my head of what I would like tho wear first stop the usual haunts Guess, H&M, forever 21 nice selection but no luck .

Next stop winners. Always random but I can usually find some nice one off picks. Luck would have it, I struck gold; a nice coral colour leather jacket and a coral print dress.

A flowing white see through dress and some beautiful lace details so so hot.

Next I need to make these outfits sizzle and nothing does that better than accessories!

I know most of the good little boutiques in Victoria.

That afternoon I picked up some great stuff. Two outfits down one to go. I would raid my own closest and see what I can find. With out any problem there sat in front of me sixteen perfect out fits.

I hate choosing, but I have a fifty pound weight limit for the air flight. The thought of wearing multiple outfits on to the airplane crossed my mind but no.

Time to weed out the mediocre. Let the cull begin must pack the essentials first make up , fur coat, and shoes have to go with me to hard and expensive to buy there. Well that that took care of twenty pounds. I am left with thirty pounds and a carry on.

My house looked like a tornado whipped through leaving a trail of mismatched clothing on every available piece of floor chair and counter.

I eventually got it down to one extremely large make up case eight outfits, three pair of high heel shoes, one pair of high heel boots, fur-coat, four leather jackets, hats, gloves, purses, accessories oh and all my camera gear dam I forgot about the camera gear. Mission Fitting them all in one large suitcase and one carry on.

impossible ????

No, never!

I stuffed and worked my magic, like a puzzle master. By sitting on top of the suitcase and pushing, I manage to get the zipper closed.

Next the weigh-in a few simple calculation and yup 79 pounds !!!

Insert loud Sigh here, defeated! Almost thirty pounds over weight.

New approach, old plan. Okay time to roll up the sleeves and get serious this has to happen. All the useless crap had to go. I will put my three pair of shoes in my carry on and cut back the camera gear. I can and will wear as much as I can, and stuff the rest in my pockets.

Done and done just then the phone rings.
I answer it is about my add in the local paper. I have a listing for Masson bees (orchard bees). I forgot about my bees! No I am not taking them with me, but I can’t leave them unwashed, because Victoria is beginning to blossom and clients want to get their bees.

A few years ago while sitting on my back porch. I could not help feel dejected while staring at the apple trees in my back yard orchard.

Another stellar year, I thought to myself. The year before, I managed to produced one apple. It was a fine apple but hardly enough for an apple turnover.

Is that all I would see this year ?

What am I doing wrong? Well with a little help from Google, I narrowed it down to lack of pollination. I could either pollinate the blossoms by hand or get bees.

What the hell happen to Mother Nature did she go on vacation? No, it turns out the honey bees are having a tough go of it.

After some research, I realized mason bees were the answer. I built a few a bee hives or houses and bit the bullet and bought the ten bee starter kit and began to raise bees in hopes of a good harvest. Success bushels of apples, baskets full of peaches.

Fast forward three years and I am now known in Victoria as a reputable bee supplier. I am more popular than the garden centres because, well I guess I sell a top quality product at a cheap price. I a. not making millions, but a nice little side hustle that manages to pay for a family vacation every year.

Wow I can’t believe it was time for the annual bathing of the bees. The bees are not dirty or smelly just have a problem with mites. If you don’t take care of them, it will eventually wipe out your entire colony; so a good bath in a light bleach solution will do the trick. It is not harmful to the bees but kills the mights. After I carefully clean and dry them. I store them in large can in my fridge, boldly marked bees just incase someone unknowingly opens them.

The day of my flight has arrived and all my early customers are happy with there bees.

I am so excited to get going but as usual it’s three in the morning and I am arranging my bag in the back seat of my car at the airport. When I finally get to the check out wearing many layers of clothing and a pleasant smile; I see the girl working the airline counter is flustered.

I am the only one standing in line and she beckons me to step up. She states that her computer is not working. Something about expired password. After standing there for a long moment, wondering how to jump this hurdle. She finally offered check me in manually. I was stunned that in this day an age that was even an option. It was time consuming but since I am the only one in the line it seemed like a good plan. Looking around the empty airport, hell I had two hours. I was glad I was the only one to read and follow the airline rules on the back of the ticket

The Moment of dread “do you have any bags to check “she asked? ” just one ” I reply with my best boyish grin (insert sparkly eyes here ) as I put it on the scale and the numbers instantly read 59 lbs. Maybe she won’t notice, I think to myself. She was distracted by having to manually process my ticket.

Nope she looks over at the weight scale and sighs. She starts the sentence with “I can’t ” and my heart sinks, but then she goes on to
Say “charge you for that because my computer is not working,. I will just put a heavy sticker on it. ” and then she began to mumble something about the company not providing her the tools to do her job.

Yes that was awesome! it really is the small victories that make a day great. I watched the bag track along the conveyer belt. As it disappeared I realized, I could of put my shoes back in the checked luggage. Now I will have to explain to airport security why I was packing around stiletto heels.
Well what do you know random body search for me. I’m so lucky and complete removal of everything in my carry-on luggage my panties, shoes, and bras proudly displayed for inspection. Embarrassing no not really but explaining the the neck collars and random bondage items a little awkward. Mental note do not try and bring a belt with a hand cuff buckle on an USA bound flight unless you want a pat down.

The rest of the fight went off with out much trouble next stop New York.

Just when I’d resigned myself to a life of tirelessly running errands and dodging the wrath of the grumpy grip men (they were very grumpy), a shiny new email landed in my inbox. I opened it with caution, picturing a Trojan virus disguised as a movie script. But the email was… well, it was a contract.
A contract for me to become the *Associate Producer *.

I nearly dropped my phone in the passenger seat. My heart did a little happy space-jump! Suddenly, the endless to-do list felt like a thrilling challenge. This was it. My moment.
My flight to Florida, for the production of “Suddenly Real,” a space action-adventure flick, felt like a rocket launch into the unknown. I, a lowly (and I mean lowly) Associate Producer, had somehow talked my way onto the set in Clearwater. Little did I know, “Associate Producer” was just a fancy name for “the person who does everything but the actual producing.” My to-do list was longer than a Klingon battle report, stretching from set locations to alien troop transporters, wardrobe malfunctions (more on that later), procuring props (like a genuinely convincing-looking alien blaster that seemed to have a mind of its own), and finding stunt cars that hadn’t been totalled in previous movie stunts. Basically, if it wasn’t nailed down or bolted to the set, I was responsible for it. My shoulders felt like they were carrying the entire weight of the galaxy.
Now, the wardrobe malfunctions… Let’s just say one of the alien costumes involved a lot of shimmering fabric and an alarming tendency to cling to every bit of dust and debris on set. It was like a space-age disco ball gone rogue.
I spent more time wrestling with that jumpsuit than I did negotiating with the studio. And the alien blaster? It kept firing blanks, but not in a good way.
Every time I tried to use it, it would either jam, or make a weird whistling sound that sounded exactly like a dying walrus. I’m pretty sure the aliens would have been impressed with the realism of the prop, but the crew definitely wasn’t.
Executive Decision scrap alien hand gun use real weapons! Yes, you read that right. I’m Canadian—meaning I’ve never seen a real firearm in my life, let alone tasked to find not just one but multiple firearms in Florida. I had no idea where to even start, and I was pretty sure I’d end up on some FBI watchlist just for asking. Thankfully, an ex-military cast member (who was surprisingly generous) offered to let us use his arsenal. No judgement, but why do you have so many frickin’ guns? I mean, seriously, I’ve seen fewer firearms in a full-on war zone.
Note to Sarah:
Please return the crew van to the rental company at Tampa airport and pick up the chase car.
Done and dusted. Wait—nobody took the guns out of the back of the van.

If you want to know how weird America is, walk through an airport with guns slung over your shoulders and have no one bat an eye.
It’s possibly the craziest thing I’ve ever signed up for.
I’m not sure shooting a movie was actually permitted in my rental agreement for the very large opulent home I had rented. I’m pretty sure it specifically said not to do that, but hell, in for a penny, in for a pound.
Please just keep it low key, I am pretty sure I started the sentence with please.

Turning onto the street after picking up the get away car filled with every movie transport vehicle in Florida was an “oh crap! ” moment. Damn I am sure I said Please keep it low key as the crowd of actors and film crew spilled out onto the front lawn slipping into the driveway in a fancy sports car full of guns probably wasn’t the best look for the sleepy upscale neighbourhood that had now become awake with the full onslaught of a movie production.

The neighbours definitely looked a little bewildered as I tried to sneak in without attracting too much attention.
Despite all the chaos, there were moments of pure cinematic magic.

The crew, despite their grumbling and exhaustion, were genuinely passionate about the project. There was an unmistakable energy, a shared dream of bringing this space saga to life.
And somewhere in the middle of the madness, I started to feel like I was actually contributing, not just surviving.
Maybe this whole “Associate Producer” thing wasn’t so bad after all.

Maybe, just maybe, I was finally learning the ropes—one exploding prop and one malfunctioning space suit at a time. And yes, I did manage to get my damage deposit back.
Not bad for a girl who walked around Florida with an arsenal and survived the fall out and chaos of a Home Owners Association, surprisingly they tend to be quiet when you are standing in the driveway with guns slung on your shoulder.

I think I am getting the hang of being an American? Nope!