APARENTLY THE ROAD TO HELL ISN’T PAVED WITH GOOD INTINTIONS 

THIS IS A CONTINUIS STORY OF MY JOURNEY

It has become clear to me that my journey as I like to call it because transition seems to be more of a harsh term has not gone as smooth as possible. As I silently sit and watch the good people of this earth fight over what bathroom is more appropriate for me to use. All I can think of is why is this all of a sudden an issue.
The answer: I blame Caitlyn Jener!
I know it is easy to point the finger and lay blame that is why I am doing it. Honestly though ever since Caitlyn made her dramatic over the top six outfit changing pay attention to me debut my world has never been the same. Don’t get me wrong I am a proud transgendered women and I have been out and about long before Caitlyn Jener made her life public. Yes I am happy she is following her heart and living her dream it is what we all want. You have to realize I have spent the last three years constantly gawked at and not in the adoring way more of the distain for my existence kind of way. This is the sad reality of being a normal infamous transgendered person you spend every waking moment hoping to be like everyone else and then you go to sleep and dream about it. For the lucky few that have the natural traits of their desired gender it is an easier road filled with sunshine, lollypops and double rainbows. As for the rest of us aparently the road to Hell is not paved with good intentions and the double rainbow is replaced by a double standard. Why can’t you be like everyone else? because you won’t let me!  Yes I am happy about my decision to transition but it is like we as the transgendered population have stood shocked while Caitlyn kicked the proverbial hornet’s nests forcing people to take notice and pick a side. Please for the love of all that is good in the world do not pick a side go back to not giving a rat’s ass or caring as to what transgendered people do or where we pee. The last thing I want to see is the polarization of the left and right when it comes to transgender people. The outcome is always the same hurtful things are said, misinformation is spread and opinions are formed. People dig in their heels and all of a sudden the spot light gets turned towards me. In the short time that caitlyn has drawn open the curtain into her private life and paraded the red carpets of the world in her designer Versace Gown in some minds I have become the image of a pedophile for needing to use a bathroom to pee. Caitlyn may have been ready for her close up as she spirals dramatically down the staircase of her Malibu home but the rest of us still are dealing with the daily issues of life.

Okay granted I may not be the best example of the transgendered silent majority because I also work in the entertainment industry. When I started this journey I was consciously aware there would be pit falls and barriers to overcome along the way but I never really sat down and gave a moment’s notice to what those might be. I never dreamed for a minute where I pee would become a topic for national debate. Frankly it is hurtful to think how this latest overblown transgender issue is affecting my Daughter. How does she come to terms with the public sentiment that her once dad is being labeled a pedophile? I hope she feels it is as unjust as I do and she can grasp the truth. Is she now more ashamed to have a transgendered parent? is it yet another nail in the coffin of our fragile relationship? I guess only time will tell. I do make an effort not to be the source of embarrassment for my family even though I am in the public eye and splashed across the first pages of google for my entertainment endeavors. I try not to let the show biz side of things creep into my private life in respect to my family. I still honour my parents’ wishes to tone down my feminine side when attending family functions. I also would never dream of complicating my teenage daughter’s life with unnecessary flamboyant behavior in her or her friends presence. I am not a Drag Queen or a Female Impersonator just a gender dysphoric actor with a desire to quietly pass for a female when out in public. I for one want to just get on with my life and go about my business of making films hoping no one notices me for the wrong reasons. 


Then it happened last Tuesday! While I was waiting to get my fix of fresh Fish Taco’s at one of the many food trucks that checker the city.  I realized nobody was paying any attention to me. I know this sounds a little self-centered but you would not believe the inner joy I was having at that moment. Even the panhandler on the corner asking for change addressed me as miss.  Okay She may have been visually impaired but it still made me think to myself for a brief moment “Could it be I was now Passable???” Am on the glorious path to sunshine, lollypops and double rainbows?   Well like most people I have good days and bad days.
 

Busy days and bathing bees

Getting ready to travel on short notice always adds stress to ones life, couple it with an early spring bloom and it makes for some busy days. The week started off with a last minute schedule change and I was left with four days notice to get ready for a New York modelling shoot. I would be supplying my own stylist and wardrobe aka me. There is nothing I like better than shopping so a full on spree was in order. the instructions were simple bring three outfits colour is recommended. Dam only three my live just got tougher I hate limited clothing choices. Off I went with a few thoughts off what I would like tho wear first stop the usual haunts Guess, H&M, forever 21 nice but no luck . Next stop winners I can usually find some nice random picks and luck would have it I struck gold a nice coral colour leather jacket and a coral print dress. A flowing white see through dress and some beautiful lace details so so hot. Next I need to make these outfits sizzle and nothing does that better than accessories . I know most of the good little boutiques in Victoria and I picked up some great stuff. Two outfits down one to go I would go through my own closest and see what I can find with out any problem there sat in front of me sixteen perfect out fits. I hate choosing but I have a fifty pound weight limit for the air fight. the thought of wearing multiple outfits on to the airplane cross my mind but no. Time to weed out the mediocre. Let the cull begin must pack the essentials first make up , fur coat, and shoes have to go with me to hard and expensive to buy there. Well that that took care of twenty pounds And I am left with thirty pounds and a carry on. My house looked like a tornado whipped through leaving a trail of mismatched clothing on every available piece of floor chair and counter. I eventually got it down to one extremely large make up case eight outfits,three pair of high heel shoes ,one pair of high heel boots,fur-coat,four leather jackets , hats, gloves , purses, accessories oh and all my camera gear dam I forgot about the camera gear. Mission Fitting them all in one bag and one carry on impossible ???? No never Is stuffed and worked my magic like a puzzle master and by sitting on top and pushing I manage to get the zipper closed. Next the weigh-in a few simple calculation and yup 79 pounds !!! almost thirty pounds over weight . New approach okay all the useless crap had to go I will put my three pair of shoes in my carry on and cut back the camera gear. I can wear as much as I can and stuff the rest in my pockets. Done and done just then the phone rings.
I answer it is about my add I have listed for Masson bees (orchard bees) . I forgot about me bees no I am not taking them with me but I can’t leave them unwashed because Victoria is beginning to blossom and clients want to get their bees. A few years ago while sitting on my back porch I could not help feel dejected while staring at the apple trees in my back yard oasis . Another stellar year I thought to myself last year I produced one perfect apple that was it not even enough for an apple turnover. Is that all I would see this year ? What am I doing wrong well with a little help from google I narrowed it down to lack of pollination. I could either pollinate them by hand or get bees. What the hell happen to Mother Nature did she go on vacation? No turns out the honey bees are having a tough go of it. After some research I realized mason bees were the answer. I built a few a bee hives or houses and bit the built and bought the ten bee starter kit and began to raise bees in hopes of a good harvest. Fast forward three years and I am now known in Victoria as a reputable bee supplier. I am more popular than the garden centres because well I sell a top quality product at a cheap price but it still manages to pay for a family vacation every year. Wow I can’t believe it was time for the annual bathing of the bees. The bees are not dirty or smelly just have a problem with might and if you don’t take care of them it will wipe out your entire colony so a good bath in a light bleach solution will do the trick it is not harmful to the bees but kills the mights. After I carefully clean and dry them I store them in my fridge in a can boldly marked bees just incase someone unknowingly opens them.
The day of my flight has arrived and all my early customers are happy with there bees I am so excited to get going but as usual it’s three in the morning and I am arranging my bag in the back seat of my car at the airport. when I finally get to the check out wearing many layers of clothing and a pleasant smile I see the girl is flustered. I am the only one standing in line and she beckons me to step up. She states that her computer is not excepting her pass word but would check me in manually since I am the only one in line. The Moment of dread “do you have any bags to check “she asked? ” just one ” I reply with my best boyish grin (insert sparkly eyes here ) as I put it on the scale and the numbers instantly read 59 lbs. Mabye she won’t notice I think to myself she was distracted bye having to manually process my ticket. Nope she looks over at the weight scale and sighs she starts the sentence with “I can’t ” my heart sinks but then she goes on to
Say “charge you for that my computer is not working, I will just put a heavy sticker on it “. and then began to mumble something about the company not providing her the tools to do her job. Yes that was awesome but as I watched the bag track along the conveyer belt I realized I could of put my shoes back in the checked luggage so I did not have to explain to security why I was packing around stiletto heels.
Well what do you know random body search for me I’m so lucky and complete removal of everything in my carry-on luggage my panties, shoes, and bras proudly displayed for inspection. Embarrassing no not really but explaining the the neck collars and random bondage items a little awkward. Mental note do not try and bring a belt with a hand cuff buckle on an USA bound flight unless you want a pat down. The rest of the fight went off with out much trouble next stop NewYork.

20140411-103411.jpg

Travelling Light? Here’s How!

THE OFFICIAL NIKKI BABIE BLOG

Versatile TravelWear Versatile TravelWear

Fashionistas,

Carrying a lot of luggage when travelling is impractical these days. After all, airlines charge hefty fees for each bag checked in on a domestic flight, ranging from $15 to $100. Gone are the days when you pack every item of clothing that you own for your vacation. A lot of people have come up with ways on how to pack light, and the ideal bag is one that has a combined length, width and depth of 60 inches; this is what most airlines will allow for carry-ons, which you stow in the overhead storage bin. So how do you pack it all in in one bag? Here are a couple of tips:

Have a small pack of detergent with you and spare 10 minutes each night to wash your socks, underwear, and shirts in your hotel room, in order to save up a lot of space…

View original post 172 more words