APARENTLY THE ROAD TO HELL ISN’T PAVED WITH GOOD INTINTIONS 

THIS IS A CONTINUIS STORY OF MY JOURNEY

It has become clear to me that my journey as I like to call it because transition seems to be more of a harsh term has not gone as smooth as possible. As I silently sit and watch the good people of this earth fight over what bathroom is more appropriate for me to use. All I can think of is why is this all of a sudden an issue.
The answer: I blame Caitlyn Jener!
I know it is easy to point the finger and lay blame that is why I am doing it. Honestly though ever since Caitlyn made her dramatic over the top six outfit changing pay attention to me debut my world has never been the same. Don’t get me wrong I am a proud transgendered women and I have been out and about long before Caitlyn Jener made her life public. Yes I am happy she is following her heart and living her dream it is what we all want. You have to realize I have spent the last three years constantly gawked at and not in the adoring way more of the distain for my existence kind of way. This is the sad reality of being a normal infamous transgendered person you spend every waking moment hoping to be like everyone else and then you go to sleep and dream about it. For the lucky few that have the natural traits of their desired gender it is an easier road filled with sunshine, lollypops and double rainbows. As for the rest of us aparently the road to Hell is not paved with good intentions and the double rainbow is replaced by a double standard. Why can’t you be like everyone else? because you won’t let me!  Yes I am happy about my decision to transition but it is like we as the transgendered population have stood shocked while Caitlyn kicked the proverbial hornet’s nests forcing people to take notice and pick a side. Please for the love of all that is good in the world do not pick a side go back to not giving a rat’s ass or caring as to what transgendered people do or where we pee. The last thing I want to see is the polarization of the left and right when it comes to transgender people. The outcome is always the same hurtful things are said, misinformation is spread and opinions are formed. People dig in their heels and all of a sudden the spot light gets turned towards me. In the short time that caitlyn has drawn open the curtain into her private life and paraded the red carpets of the world in her designer Versace Gown in some minds I have become the image of a pedophile for needing to use a bathroom to pee. Caitlyn may have been ready for her close up as she spirals dramatically down the staircase of her Malibu home but the rest of us still are dealing with the daily issues of life.

Okay granted I may not be the best example of the transgendered silent majority because I also work in the entertainment industry. When I started this journey I was consciously aware there would be pit falls and barriers to overcome along the way but I never really sat down and gave a moment’s notice to what those might be. I never dreamed for a minute where I pee would become a topic for national debate. Frankly it is hurtful to think how this latest overblown transgender issue is affecting my Daughter. How does she come to terms with the public sentiment that her once dad is being labeled a pedophile? I hope she feels it is as unjust as I do and she can grasp the truth. Is she now more ashamed to have a transgendered parent? is it yet another nail in the coffin of our fragile relationship? I guess only time will tell. I do make an effort not to be the source of embarrassment for my family even though I am in the public eye and splashed across the first pages of google for my entertainment endeavors. I try not to let the show biz side of things creep into my private life in respect to my family. I still honour my parents’ wishes to tone down my feminine side when attending family functions. I also would never dream of complicating my teenage daughter’s life with unnecessary flamboyant behavior in her or her friends presence. I am not a Drag Queen or a Female Impersonator just a gender dysphoric actor with a desire to quietly pass for a female when out in public. I for one want to just get on with my life and go about my business of making films hoping no one notices me for the wrong reasons. 


Then it happened last Tuesday! While I was waiting to get my fix of fresh Fish Taco’s at one of the many food trucks that checker the city.  I realized nobody was paying any attention to me. I know this sounds a little self-centered but you would not believe the inner joy I was having at that moment. Even the panhandler on the corner asking for change addressed me as miss.  Okay She may have been visually impaired but it still made me think to myself for a brief moment “Could it be I was now Passable???” Am on the glorious path to sunshine, lollypops and double rainbows?   Well like most people I have good days and bad days.
 

 Things have been Amazingly Crazy

 I started this blog to highlight the pitfalls and winfalls of life as a transgender actress. It really is a struggle being in this situation and the stigmatism and bias towards transgenders is rampid. I have had dropped calls and not interested thrown in my face to the point that it is just my expectation. I have managed to keep smiling and just move on. 

Recently things have been Amazingly Crazy. I have continued in my adventures as a transgender model and actress. I truely believe that fate plays a huge roll in my life.  With fate as my ruler for the last two years I have been letting it guide me.  I have continued to advance my skills through acting school and college. This past week was another mile stone for me producing my own photoshoot. I was asked by a client to model for a new product. I have worked with this company before so they know my capabilities and commitment. They gave me their blessing and trust to produce photos for their new product.  I loved controlling all aspects of the job. I busily went to work scouting locations, selecting complementary wardrobe and the hiring of staff. 

   
     

I have decided I am not going to let others to bring me down when I can just as easily boost myself up.  The shoot was a great success and has lead to a spread in a national magazine. I have now been asked by a United Kingdom Television Company to be interview for a documentary.

So I am giving you a little cheer and a big smile 

Warmly

Miss Sarah Luv

Forever Flawless after one Month !

20140710-123315-45195644.jpg

Well it has been well over one month into my new forever flawless beauty routine and I wanted to get my routine down before I commented further on the products I am reviewing. So far I have managed to stick with the routine but the daily routine has a few extra steps that Seemed daunting at first . My night routine is a little more involved than I would like with two different serums and two different creams it is all very basic but wondering if applying eye serum and skin tightening serum are both needed? It would be nice if one serum could do both jobs. The night cream goes on well and is quiet soothing. The cleanser I am finding very different , I am not use to a cleanser that does not foam or produce any suds and seems to sink into the skin more like a moisturizer than a cleanser. I was wondering how clean my skin is getting so I used some toner after my cleanse and found it was not removing all of my titanium dioxide powdered sun screen so I recommend still using a makeup remover for removing any heavy makeup especially eye makeup. I do like how the cleanser feels on my skin it leaves my skin feeling well nourished and moist but not oily. This type of cleanser is great for thinner and drier skin because it locks in moisture and gives you a complexion that feels fresh. I personally think a softening toner could be added to help with the absorption of your night cream.
20140710-125616-46576262.jpg
Diamond Infused Micro Abrasion, Skin Tightening Mask

Now aside from the daily routine I have been doing a weekly skin micro abrasion and a skin tightening mask this is my Friday spa day.

20140710-124223-45743756.jpg
Diamond Infused Thermal Mask,Vitamin C Booster, Serum and Age-defying Cream

Every mouth I set a side a few hours on the weekend to do my monthly routine involving a diamond infused thermal mask with vitamin C booster that sets off the mask and it feels warm and soothing to the face. You definitely feel like you are in the spa when applied you just close your eyes and after about 10 to 15 minutes you wash off. You follow the mask with an age-defying serum and an Age-Defying cream.

20140710-124424-45864740.jpg
Collagen Reconstructive mask ,Collagen Serum, and Collagen Boosting Cream
At the same time that I apply the thermal mask and vitamin C booster to my face I also do a Collagen Reconstructive mask to my neck. It is so important not to over look your neck in a beauty routine. The Collagen reconstructive mask goes on first and after about ten minutes you just use your hand to rub it off and follow up with a Collagen Serum and a Diamond Infused Collagen Boosting Cream it really does feel like you have had a day at the spa and I enjoy it so much.
I try and stretch it out into a two day spa retreat by applying an Age-Defying Mask the following day.

20140716-080956-29396764.jpg
Diamond Infused Age-Defying Mask

This two part process is a little tricky applying by yourself and is a lot easier if you have someone to assist. You start by laying on towel covered flat surface my heated tile bathroom floor works well but a bed would work too. Prepare the mask by opening the package and removing it. Grab the top of the mask with booth hands using your fingers to pinch it apply as you are laying back and resting head on the towel adjust mouth nose and eyes as needed lay back relax and listen to some nice zen music. This mask takes about 15 minutes to soak in to your skin but I like to leave it on for longer and just enjoy it. After you are feeling refreshed peel it off and apply the Diamond Infused Hydrating Serum. Now that you are done have a look in the mirror your face will sparkle with Diamonds. I usually want to go shopping after this routine because I feel like a million Dollars.

Before I started using Forever Flawless

Notice the appearance of fine wrinkles under the eyes.

20140716-080630-29190997.jpg

after one month using forever flawless

Notice the fine lines are reduced under the eyes.

20140716-080753-29273305.jpg

There is not a big difference after just a few months but I do feel like my skin is in better shape and has a more youthful appearance .

Please stay tuned it is still early in the process and I am hoping for a long lasting youthful appearance only time will tell.

Hugs Sarah !

Forever Flawless the beginning of a two year review

My Quest for beauty has had many twist and turns.
I would not say I am in panic mode yet but I am aware of the hideous affects of aging and the lines on my face are an all to real constant reminder of this slow relentless enemy. I am not one of these people that is going to quietly age in silence or accept that there is nothing to be done. Hell No !! I am going to fight kicking and screaming over every line and wrinkle. The question I have is there a good solution to correcting the damage and halting the aging process. Could the STARS have the answer and be reluctant to share? No not those twinkling distant lights in the night sky I am talking about those immortal looking legends that captivate our attention here on earth. What is their secrete to ever lasting beauty. Some are seeking surgery while others are all to happy to desperately stick poisons in there face to kill their muscles. Their are some among them that have discovered that a natural and holistic way to deal with stress and not showing the effects of ageing is possible. Some Stars are a bit more tight lipped about their beauty secretes.

20140430-122750.jpg
This is where Forever Flawless http://www.foreverflawless.com/comes into the picture you may have seen their products being sold in upscale malls and wondered what it was all about. If you want to know more about the process look no further I am embarking on a two year quest to give all their products a full review in my quest I will give a non biased detailed report on all their products and how I respond to results.

I began this project not to prove or disprove any of company’s claims. I was simply in the mall one day and was approached by one of their representatives. She was pleasantly informative and easy to talk with but most importantly was willing to listen to my concerns on aging. The more we talked the more I liked the idea of trying out their products so we did a micro abrasion test on my wrists and I was amazed at the instant results. We tested it first on the wrist to ensure no reactions. Honestly after seeing the results on my wrist I was eager to try the micro abrasion on my face. The idea to blog about it came later. I was on the computer researching this company when I came across several posts claiming this was a scam after reading the posts I came to the conclusion
that the people writing the posts had a bad encounter and a miscommunication with a sales person and they where judging the product on this rather than taking a real look at what the product is actual suppose to do. I know their are no Miracles when it comes to aging but if there is products to help combat the signs of aging then I am willing to explore them with an open mind.

20140430-123220.jpg
I returned to the spa and had another pleasant one on one this time with the manger she was enthusiastic, well informed and happy to help. We discussed my main concerns and problem areas and we developed a personal routine that was not as daunting as I expected. My twice daily cleansing routine stayed the same but I added a daily eye serum and eye cream to help with the notorious big bags and the wrinkles around my eyes. In addition to the daily routine I am going to do a once a week micro abrasion, a tightening mask, an facial wrinkle serum on problem areas, and a monthly wrinkle lifting mask with enriched vitamin c and a monthly serum as well as a spa treatment with a diamond infused mask. We sampled all the products I was to use in my routine at the spa and I was taught proper application techniques.
My first impressions of the products are very good no chemical smells or harsh reaction I fact they are very easy on the skin. Each product works well in combination and has a feel of quality when applied. The nice thing about using good quality products is the fact you don’t have to use a lot so the portions will last a full year.

This is a photo at the start of my journey

   

  

 please join Sarah Luv on her journey to become Forever Flawless and see how my appearance changes.

Three days and still stars in my eyes

I have finally calmed down enough to write about my New York trip. It was a whirl wind and I was so strung out on nervous energy, I was not able to sleep for the entire time.  I did not want to wake up and have it only be a dream but mainly there was just so much that needed doing in such a short time that sleep was just not in the cards.
I arrived in JFK international after a short wait and a connecting flight from San Francisco . The airport was dated and dull and could really use a makeover. It serves it’s purpose and not everything in life needs to be shiny and new. I exited through the front doors And was relieved to see a man that was not smiling but none the less holding my name. I felt kind of special that is until hle whisked my bags away from me and I had to walk quickly to keep up with him. I managed to saver the moment while waiting for a crosswalk signal I noticed along line of yellow cabs jostling for a potion out front of the terminal and using colourful language. The moment was fleeting when crosswalk light changed and I was once again began chasing the man with my lugauage down a dimly lit car park. Thank god he finally stopped at a large black town car and held the door for me to hope in. As we drove he began to speak with what I thought was a New Jersey accent , it turned out he was from Staten Island and a rather nice fellow. Along the way he pointed out things that he thought I would be interested in and the drive to my hotel room was informative. I learned on one side of the freeway was Brooklyn and not a bad area to visit on the other side was Jamaican town that looked identical but apparently not a tourist destination.

We arrived at the hotel and was pleased to have them greet me with a warm welcome. A little to nice and over top what was up with all the niceties ? I wondered? The usual “We have been expecting you all day so glad to have you stay with us “was followed by “we are hoping everything is to your satisfaction. “said one will the other said” there is a parcel that came for you in the mail I will hand deliver it for you” as they checked me in with smiles from ear to ear I stood puzzled “Everything is as you request and if there is anything you need be sure you ring for us” the front desk clerk said as she handed me my room key. I grabbed the key card that read manhattan suite I began to understand my situation a little better. Dear god what have I got myself into how big was this production that they are able to put a small time model in a luxury hotel room. The porter open the door to my room on the top floor and there in front of me in two full stories of window stood the entire manhattan skyline I just stood there awe struck until the porter asked me “if that would be all ?” ” Yes yes that was so good and I fumbled for a couple twenties for a tip. I wanted to jump on the bed and phone all my friends but needed to get ready for tomorrow so out came the wardrobe that I had lugged across the country. It did not take long to unpack and I sat for a moment enjoying the view when I quiet knock on the door interrupted my thought pattern and I went to open the door there was the front desk clerk still smiling from ear to ear and as promised holding a large cardboard box for me. I slipped him twenty dollars as he placed it on the front entrance desk and I motioned at the door with a whisk of the my wrist and” thank you that will do ” I added a quick “yes I will be sure to call if I need anything else. ” I was not trying to be rude just excited to open the box containing the new and improved femskin IV. It was so light I could not wait to try it on. Standing in front of the windows for all of New York to see. I spent the rest of the night trying on outfits and by five in the morning I was ready to start applying make up. This would be my shinning moment in front of the big screen why was I doing this to myself and were the hell is my hairbrush and razors? Oh God That’s it you know the item that you always mistakenly leave behind even though you went over it a thousand times in your head. Great I am going to be the
bearded woman on national television if I was not so horrified I would of started to cry. Well they said down at the front desk if I needed anything so I called down and sure enough they found replacement for both my missing items and quickly sent them to my room. My makeup went on so slowly and I must have spent a good half hour on just my eyes. Everything although slow went well and I managed to not glue my eyes shut while attaching my eyelashes.
I stood in front of the mirror admiring myself okay world here comes Sarah Luv ready or not My life will never be the same after today

20140408-121046.jpg

20140408-121150.jpg

20140408-121228.jpg

Busy days and bathing bees

Getting ready to travel on short notice always adds stress to ones life, couple it with an early spring bloom and it makes for some busy days. The week started off with a last minute schedule change and I was left with four days notice to get ready for a New York modelling shoot. I would be supplying my own stylist and wardrobe aka me. There is nothing I like better than shopping so a full on spree was in order. the instructions were simple bring three outfits colour is recommended. Dam only three my live just got tougher I hate limited clothing choices. Off I went with a few thoughts off what I would like tho wear first stop the usual haunts Guess, H&M, forever 21 nice but no luck . Next stop winners I can usually find some nice random picks and luck would have it I struck gold a nice coral colour leather jacket and a coral print dress. A flowing white see through dress and some beautiful lace details so so hot. Next I need to make these outfits sizzle and nothing does that better than accessories . I know most of the good little boutiques in Victoria and I picked up some great stuff. Two outfits down one to go I would go through my own closest and see what I can find with out any problem there sat in front of me sixteen perfect out fits. I hate choosing but I have a fifty pound weight limit for the air fight. the thought of wearing multiple outfits on to the airplane cross my mind but no. Time to weed out the mediocre. Let the cull begin must pack the essentials first make up , fur coat, and shoes have to go with me to hard and expensive to buy there. Well that that took care of twenty pounds And I am left with thirty pounds and a carry on. My house looked like a tornado whipped through leaving a trail of mismatched clothing on every available piece of floor chair and counter. I eventually got it down to one extremely large make up case eight outfits,three pair of high heel shoes ,one pair of high heel boots,fur-coat,four leather jackets , hats, gloves , purses, accessories oh and all my camera gear dam I forgot about the camera gear. Mission Fitting them all in one bag and one carry on impossible ???? No never Is stuffed and worked my magic like a puzzle master and by sitting on top and pushing I manage to get the zipper closed. Next the weigh-in a few simple calculation and yup 79 pounds !!! almost thirty pounds over weight . New approach okay all the useless crap had to go I will put my three pair of shoes in my carry on and cut back the camera gear. I can wear as much as I can and stuff the rest in my pockets. Done and done just then the phone rings.
I answer it is about my add I have listed for Masson bees (orchard bees) . I forgot about me bees no I am not taking them with me but I can’t leave them unwashed because Victoria is beginning to blossom and clients want to get their bees. A few years ago while sitting on my back porch I could not help feel dejected while staring at the apple trees in my back yard oasis . Another stellar year I thought to myself last year I produced one perfect apple that was it not even enough for an apple turnover. Is that all I would see this year ? What am I doing wrong well with a little help from google I narrowed it down to lack of pollination. I could either pollinate them by hand or get bees. What the hell happen to Mother Nature did she go on vacation? No turns out the honey bees are having a tough go of it. After some research I realized mason bees were the answer. I built a few a bee hives or houses and bit the built and bought the ten bee starter kit and began to raise bees in hopes of a good harvest. Fast forward three years and I am now known in Victoria as a reputable bee supplier. I am more popular than the garden centres because well I sell a top quality product at a cheap price but it still manages to pay for a family vacation every year. Wow I can’t believe it was time for the annual bathing of the bees. The bees are not dirty or smelly just have a problem with might and if you don’t take care of them it will wipe out your entire colony so a good bath in a light bleach solution will do the trick it is not harmful to the bees but kills the mights. After I carefully clean and dry them I store them in my fridge in a can boldly marked bees just incase someone unknowingly opens them.
The day of my flight has arrived and all my early customers are happy with there bees I am so excited to get going but as usual it’s three in the morning and I am arranging my bag in the back seat of my car at the airport. when I finally get to the check out wearing many layers of clothing and a pleasant smile I see the girl is flustered. I am the only one standing in line and she beckons me to step up. She states that her computer is not excepting her pass word but would check me in manually since I am the only one in line. The Moment of dread “do you have any bags to check “she asked? ” just one ” I reply with my best boyish grin (insert sparkly eyes here ) as I put it on the scale and the numbers instantly read 59 lbs. Mabye she won’t notice I think to myself she was distracted bye having to manually process my ticket. Nope she looks over at the weight scale and sighs she starts the sentence with “I can’t ” my heart sinks but then she goes on to
Say “charge you for that my computer is not working, I will just put a heavy sticker on it “. and then began to mumble something about the company not providing her the tools to do her job. Yes that was awesome but as I watched the bag track along the conveyer belt I realized I could of put my shoes back in the checked luggage so I did not have to explain to security why I was packing around stiletto heels.
Well what do you know random body search for me I’m so lucky and complete removal of everything in my carry-on luggage my panties, shoes, and bras proudly displayed for inspection. Embarrassing no not really but explaining the the neck collars and random bondage items a little awkward. Mental note do not try and bring a belt with a hand cuff buckle on an USA bound flight unless you want a pat down. The rest of the fight went off with out much trouble next stop NewYork.

20140411-103411.jpg

Travelling Light? Here’s How!

THE OFFICIAL NIKKI BABIE BLOG

Versatile TravelWear Versatile TravelWear

Fashionistas,

Carrying a lot of luggage when travelling is impractical these days. After all, airlines charge hefty fees for each bag checked in on a domestic flight, ranging from $15 to $100. Gone are the days when you pack every item of clothing that you own for your vacation. A lot of people have come up with ways on how to pack light, and the ideal bag is one that has a combined length, width and depth of 60 inches; this is what most airlines will allow for carry-ons, which you stow in the overhead storage bin. So how do you pack it all in in one bag? Here are a couple of tips:

Have a small pack of detergent with you and spare 10 minutes each night to wash your socks, underwear, and shirts in your hotel room, in order to save up a lot of space…

View original post 172 more words

A new chapter of an old book

Just when I had given up hope of making it in the cruel world of modeling a shinny new email appeared in my inbox. I opened it with caution thinking it was yet another spam or Trojan virus, I was so surprised at what I was reading I had to actually put my phone down in the passenger seat beside me and go back to concentrating on navigating the busy freeway a head of me. Before you pass judgement on people that use there phone while driving you should know I never use it to talk I just text oh and watch the occasional movie. I could not wait to get home and read it again I was sure it said they wanted to fly me to New York to film for an episode on showtime. This can’t be right I am sure it was a misunderstanding or this was sent by mistake a kind of “oops I pressed send to all” situation. I sat in front of the computer reading and rereading the email with my mouth wide open sure enough it was meant for me. A little back story if I may, My only real success on being a transgender model has come from the fetish wear industry and for me more specific the femskin. The femskin is a full latex body suit that comes in different colours and styles. They were designed for crossdressers but have become fetish wear for both men and women. I would say the flesh tone style is the most popular and the one I model for them. I have had been featured in several magazines and web sites wearing one. So this email was an offer to fly me to New York to model their las test design only one problem this was going to be on main stream television. Now I realize the chances of my grand mother watching this on television is slim but still this was not the usual spread featured in a magazine that was destined to sit in a dimly lit porn shop and Leafed through by perverts at two in the morning. If this is my big break I will take it if it is the end of my failed modelling quest then why not go out on top.

20140320-170325.jpg