Lately I’ve been reflecting on my own experience as someone navigating life as a transgender woman I’ve realized that my transition hasn’t gone as smoothly as I hoped and honestly that’s okay.
Sometimes I find myself silently watching the world around me, people arguing over bathrooms policies and who should do what.
And honestly I keep asking myself why does this suddenly feel like such a big deal?
The truth is, I blame Caitlyn Jenner! It’s easy to point fingers so I’m doing just that. When Caitlyn stepped into the spotlight with her dramatic debut, multiple outfit changes, magazine covers and red carpet appearances, it changed the conversation and not always in a good way.
Don’t get me wrong I am proud to be a transgender woman. I’ve been living my truth long before Caitlyn made her story public. I’m glad she’s living her life openly and following her dreams. That’s what we all want right?
But here’s the reality, for the past three years I’ve felt the weight of constant scrutiny not in admiration but in judgment. Being a “normal” transgender person often means living with the hope of being accepted only to face misunderstanding or even disdain.
Some people are lucky they naturally resemble the gender they identify with making their journey smoother filled with support and acceptance. For many of us though the road is tougher. Instead of rainbows and sunshine we face double standards and misperceptions.
Why is it so hard to just be treated like everyone else? Because many still refuse to see us as just people
Yes I’m proud of my decision to transition. But I can’t help feeling that Caitlyn’s high-profile visibility has inadvertently pushed many into taking sides.
Suddenly transgender issues aren’t just personal they’ve become political footballs sparking polarization, misinformation and hurtful stereotypes. I wish people would stop choosing sides and just go back to ignoring what they don’t understand. Honestly I’d prefer if people just didn’t care about where I pee or anything else related to my identity
The last thing I want is for us to be caught up in the cultural divide. Every time the media focuses on Caitlyn it seems like the headlines turn to bizarre or hurtful narratives. Some folks now think I or others like me are somehow dangerous or inappropriate just because I need to use the bathroom.
That’s not just unfair it’s damaging! Caitlyn might be living her truth publicly, but the rest of us are still dealing with the day-to-day realities of our lives.
I’ll admit I don’t perfectly represent the “silent majority” of trans folks I work in entertainment which adds its own layer of complexity. When I started my transition, I knew there would be challenges, but I never imagined that something as basic as bathroom access would become a national debate. It’s painful to think how this affects my daughter. How does she reconcile the fact that her dad is now being labeled and sometimes wrongly based on misinformation. I hope she understands that I am still the same person just living more authentically.
I try to keep my private life private, respecting my family’s wishes. I don’t want to embarrass my parents or make life harder for my teenage daughter. I’m not a performer or a drag queen. I’m just a transgender woman, a writer trying to pass in public and live my life quietly.
My goal is simple to do my work, create content and hopefully go unnoticed for the right reasons.
Then last Tuesday something small but significant happened. I was waiting at a food truck enjoying a fish taco, when I suddenly realized no one was paying attention to me. And for a moment I felt a small spark of joy.
Even a homeless person who asked me for change called me “miss” noticing me as a woman even if she might have been visually impaired. It made me wonder, could I be passable now. Is this the path toward acceptance toward that rainbow of normalcy.
Of course like everyone else, I have good days and bad days. But moments like that remind me why I keep going.
In the end what I really wish for is simple, for people to see us as human beings—complex flawed and deserving of respect.
We’re all on our own journeys and what we need most is understanding not judgment.
misssarahluv 
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